Loner Read online

  Copyright © 2020 by Harloe Rae, LLC

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher listed above, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or purely coincidental.

  Editing: Librum Arts Editorial Services

  Cover Artist: BookCoverKingdom (www.bookcoverkingdom.com)

  Photographer: Rafa G. Catalá

  Cover Model: Christian Perez

  Interior Design: Champagne Book Design

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT

  NOVELS BY HARLOE RAE

  DEDICATION

  PLAYLIST

  ABOUT THIS BOOK

  EPIGRAPH

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  EPILOGUE

  WHAT TO READ NEXT

  MORE TITLES FROM HARLOE RAE

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Reclusive Standalones

  Redefining Us

  Forget You Not

  #BitterSweetHeat Standalones

  Gent

  Miss

  Lass

  Watch Me Follow

  Ask Me Why

  Breaker

  Keeper

  Loner

  This book is dedicated to all those fighting for a better tomorrow.

  To remaining optimistic during the hardest of times.

  To sticking together when crumbling is easier.

  To being positive and uplifting.

  To patience and compassion.

  To lending a helping hand.

  To brighter days.

  To community.

  To you.

  “Stay Awake” by Dean Lewis

  “Free Spirit” by Khalid

  “Conversations in the Dark” by John Lennon

  “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart” by Louis Tomlinson

  “Falling” by Harry Styles

  “Put A Little Love On Me” by Niall Horan

  “Best Part of Me” by Ed Sheeran and Yebba

  “Lover (Remix)” by Taylor Swift

  “Somebody to Love” by One Republic

  “You Can’t Stop the Girl” by Bebe Rexha

  “Rescue Me” by One Republic

  “Just Friends” by JORDY

  “Hate Me” by Ellie Goulding

  “I’m a Mess” by Bebe Rexha

  “I Found You” by Andy Grammar

  “Good Stuff” by Griff

  Listen on Spotify here!

  “Everyone deserves a chance to be rescued.”

  That’s the mantra I’m repeating when a well-equipped biker pulls over to save me. One glance at the scowl Crawford Doxe is wearing proves he isn’t impressed with the task. My efforts to change his mind deflate faster than the shredded tire at our feet. But disgruntled or not, my so-called hero still agrees to fix my flat.

  I don’t expect to see Crawford again, but he’s suddenly very visible in our small town. Avoiding him would be my preference. That’s not how this story goes. For whatever reason, my daughter finds an ally in the broody mechanic. Denying her is something I do my best to avoid. I can only hope Crawford’s shine wears off before he tarnishes what little trust still exists.

  As if the odds are ever on my side.

  Commitments are a foreign concept to him. He doesn’t make any promises to try. That should’ve been enough for me to steer clear. It most certainly isn’t.

  What follows can only be described as a disastrous clash of epic proportions.

  But one indisputable fact remains. That lone soul has no plans of opening his heart.

  “I’m a firm believer that hugging is underrated. Such a simple gesture, that might begin as nothing more than a quick greeting, can change an entire outlook. Offer the healing of an embrace and see.”

  —Keegan Daniels

  Healing Hug #1: The instant rush of comfort that’s bonded between mother and daughter.

  A shadow dances across the floor as I push the door open. Within seconds, passionate moans assault my ears. The stench of lust-fueled sweat reeks of infidelity and hangs in the air. Skin slaps to an erotic rhythm that singes my cheeks. What remains of my trust shatters at the sight of two bodies joining, neither of them mine.

  The memory sizzles from my mind with a searing burn.

  I rip another shirt off a hanger and toss it over my shoulder. It’s a surprise I can control my hands with the amount of trembling anger rattling through me. This bubbling fury is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Sure, I’ve been mad in the past. Pissed to the extreme at certain points. But this? A whole new level of rage is shooting to the surface, hot enough to scald my skin.

  How dare he? After everything I’ve put up with, he’s the one to throw down the gauntlet. Why did he bother keeping me around this long? How could I let so many transgressions slip by me? Where are we supposed to go now? The questions only succeed in boiling my blood hotter. I’m digging for my favorite pair of jeans when a thick cloud of Kirk’s cedar cologne chokes me. The shock of his scent squeezes my lungs and another burst of fire flares. Nausea swirls in my gut, but I force the bile down.

  Because of my chronic habit of choosing the worst men, we’re being forced to uproot our lives once again. The haste to do so twitches my fingers as I reach for more clothes. The one silver lining to Kirk’s rigid rules is we don’t have a lot of personal belongings to pack. This pitiful pile in front of me is the extent of my wardrobe. Millie’s toys are already in storage crates for easy organization. We can be gone without a trace in less than thirty minutes.

  I scan the room, a fresh wave of unwanted tears blurring my vision. The luxurious condo has always been a bit ostentatious for my taste. Kirk required every pristine inch to remain spotless no matter what. Endless white walls and carpet aren’t kid-friendly. Fingerprints and smudges weren’t tolerated. It was a daily challenge to ensure this place stayed in immaculate condition. But with an entire wall of windows facing the lake, I didn’t complain too hard. I overlooked a lot of things because of that rose-tinted view he offered, and the false promises made.

  A tidal wave of guilt crashes over me. We should’ve left at the first signs of this being a restrictive situation. How did I allow this to continue? My daughter has been in this stifling environment for almost a year. Millie’s continued refusal to communicate with Kirk should have been all the proof I needed. She’s never been a chatty child, quite the opposite if I’m being honest, but total si
lence from her isn’t the norm. It probably didn’t help matters that he never attempted to form a relationship with her, even in the most basic sense. That just goes to show how blind I’ve been.

  How could I get involved with a man so callous and selfish? Does loyalty mean nothing? I know the answer. To a man like Kirk, the value is less than zero. He didn’t even have the decency to look guilty when I caught him balls deep in that busty redhead. Turns out he’s been cheating on me with her for months. Such an arrogant asshole.

  At this moment, albeit far too late, there’s a glaring fact I can no longer deny: all of this is my fault. Kirk offered a flimsy sense of security and financial comfort I couldn’t afford otherwise. I wanted to believe so badly that he could be the one. Memories of my parents, forever meant to be together, kept the faith of true love alive. Reality is a much larger pill to choke down when all evidence pointed to the contrary.

  Being on my own since eighteen had me growing up faster than most. I wasn’t granted the luxury of a cushy introduction to adulthood with opportunities at every turn. The road has been far from smooth. Since Millie was born, I’ve tried my damndest to create a better life for us. I’m ashamed of myself and the weakness I’ve shown.

  But that all changes today.

  “Mama?” The soft voice is laced with hesitancy.

  I immediately pause my mechanical efforts and glance behind me. My daughter stands in the doorway, her lips tugging low into a deep frown. The shirts in my grip drop to the floor as I turn toward her. I kneel and beckon her into my open arms. “Come here, baby girl.”

  Millie’s stride toward me is slow and cautious, her hesitancy a knife to my heart. Once she folds against my chest, I rub her back in soothing circles, humming a quiet tune she enjoys at bedtime.

  This innocent girl has already seen too much hardship in her six short years. I should’ve done better by her from the beginning. I clearly needed a wake-up call in the form of him seeking pleasure between another woman’s thighs. Maybe I should be thanking Kirk for his infidelity.

  After a few moments, Millie lifts her head and blinks at me. “Are we leaving?”

  “Yes, sweetie.”

  “Why?”

  “We need to find our own place.”

  Long lashes fan her cheeks. “Okay.”

  “Would you rather stay?” I swallow the ball of fire in my throat.

  “No.” One word has never held so much unwavering certainty.

  I put a finger under Millie’s chin, lifting until she’s looking at me. “This was never a true home for us, huh?”

  “Not really.” Her voice is barely a whisper.

  A breezy chill creeps along my spine, and I try not to shiver. This apartment has always been cold. And unwelcoming. “I’m very sorry, Millie.”

  She bobs a slim shoulder, offering me a jerky shrug. “It’s fine.”

  Another fissure splits me apart. “It’s really not, but I’m gonna make it up to you.”

  “How?”

  I tighten my arms around her tiny form, wrapping us in a warm embrace. “Hugging is a good start.”

  “It heals the hurt,” she murmurs against my chest.

  I kiss the top of her forehead. “Exactly, baby girl. We stick together and all else will follow.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “We’re moving to an adorable small town where everyone is super nice. It’s called Silo Springs. Isn’t that a fun name?”

  “Uh-huh. I like it.”

  “So do I. My friend lives there and will help us settle in. They have great schools, too. You’ll meet a bunch of kids in class this fall. We’ll start fresh. Does that sound good?”

  “Yes, Mama. Can we go right away?”

  “Sure can, sweetie.”

  “Can Bearly come with?”

  The mention of her beloved stuffed animal makes me grin. “Of course. He’s part of the family.”

  “And we protect our family.” The amount of conviction she puts behind her words makes my pride swell three sizes.

  I squeeze her a bit closer. “That’s right, baby girl. I love you so much.”

  “Too much, Mama,” she wheezes extra loud, adding a wiggle for show.

  With a groan, I release her from my hold. “Never grow up, okay?”

  “Why do you always say that?”

  “Because I mean it. Being an adult isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows.” That’s the understatement of this century.

  “All right, Mama. I’ll be your little girl forever.”

  “Cross your heart?”

  “Uh-huh, yeah.” She clears her throat. “Mama?”

  “Yes, sweet girl?”

  “Can we get a puppy?”

  My heart clenches at her meek question. I swallow the growing lump in my dry throat. “M–maybe?”

  “Maybe really means no.” Her deepening frown threatens to break me.

  I blow out a stream of air rather than release more flimsy excuses. She’s right to call me out—I’ve been putting off getting her a pet for years. The timing never seems right, but who’s to say it ever will be? I brush my thumb down her splotchy cheek. “Let’s get settled into our new home first. Then we’ll talk about getting a dog, okay?”

  “Promise you’ll really think about it?”

  “I promise.”

  “All right, I’ll wait a little longer.” She gets quiet after that, more so than usual with me.

  “What’s wrong, Millie?”

  She tucks some hair behind her ear. The shade of golden sunshine matches mine. “What if the kids in the Silo town don’t wanna be friends with me?”

  I furrow my brow and try to smooth the lines away from hers. “Why would you ever think a silly thing like that?”

  Her eyes skitter off my face. “That’s how it is here. They never ask me to play tag or go on the swings.”

  The children around these parts are a bunch of rich snobs. I don’t tell her that, though. “Millie, you’ll be the most popular. Everyone will want to hang out with you. Wanna know why?”

  She nods. “Uh-huh.”

  I kiss her button nose. “Because you’re smart and beautiful and kind and good. So very good.” Right down to her marrow. She’s the most genuine soul and wouldn’t hurt the fuzz on a fly.

  Her cheeks dent with deep dimples as she curls the corners of her lips. “M’kay, Mama. I hope you’re right.”

  “This will be a good move for us. You’ll see.” I stand and begin picking up my mess of laundry. “All right, enough serious talk. Let’s get on the road.”

  “We get to meet our new house now?”

  “Yes, sweetie. But first, let’s get some ice cream.”

  The megawatt smile she grants me is all the assurance I need. The strain knotting my stomach eases with another long exhale. Our lives are changing for the better, starting today.

  Healing Hug #2: Exchanging simple comfort without needing a side of fluffy words.

  “It’s about time you start dating again.”

  I choke on my sip of coffee. A very unladylike stream of brown liquid spews from my mouth. To add further insult, stray droplets dribble down my chin. I wrinkle my nose at the frothy mess. What a waste of much-needed caffeine. After getting my mess under control, I glare at my best friend. “Pretty sure I misunderstood you. Care to rephrase that?”

  Josey narrows her dark eyes at me. “Oh, come on. It’s been over a year since the Kirk debacle. That might as well be ancient history at this point.”

  “I disagree.” I allow my thoughts to wander while gazing outside through the front window of Steeped. There are moments when it feels like yesterday. I fled with Millie from Kirk’s hoity-toity high-rise to the sleepy town of Silo Springs and didn’t bother glancing in the rearview mirror. Best decision I ever made. This community welcomed us with open arms and never let go. And aside from her random bouts of meddling, Josey is the greatest reason to remain rooted in place for years to come. “I just finalized my mortgage. How about we celebrate that
rather than bring up old skeletons from my disastrous history with men?”

  She swats the air. “You would so go there.”

  “Without a doubt. And I’m glad that’s settled.” I roll my gaze to the wooden beams lining the ceiling. “Can I return to enjoying my morning in peace now?”

  The light tapping of her nails against the table is answer enough. “I’m just getting started, lady. This has been brewing inside of me, and I’m ready to let it out.”

  “Is that so?” I purse my lips while offering her an unflinching stare. This isn’t the first round we’ve battled on this topic. I’m not naive enough to believe it’s the last. Deterring Josey is usually easy enough, but there’s an unfamiliar spark in her eyes today. She’s got something sneaky up her chiffon sleeve. A laundry list of possibilities begins forming while my heart picks up a faster beat. This conversation could lead in far too many directions. The silence stretches taut enough to snap. Taking the scenic route and letting this interrogation cool is the best route to avoid collision. I reach for my mug as if nothing is out of sorts.

  “I never took you for a vegetarian, Keke.”

  “You’re losing me again.”

  Her lips curl into a wicked grin. “Reintroducing meat into your diet is long overdue. You’re a young woman in her prime with needs that extend beyond the reach of a battery-operated boyfriend.” She lifts her chin at me, the angle more than haughty.

  She’s just lucky I didn’t have another mouthful of coffee, otherwise I’d have doused the front of her shirt. All I can manage is a basic gape—lips parted and jaw hanging. I should’ve predicted she’d aim straight for the gutter. Heck, I certainly know better. With a flurry of rapid blinks, I collect my composure and sit upright. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

  Her snort is loud enough to hear in the crowded café. “Right, right. Your BOB must be losing steam, though. Give that bad boy a rest. A real man has tricks of the trade.”

  Routine grinding from an espresso machine kicks up in the background. The grating whir is a pleasant distraction, especially from Josey’s firing squad. But when the distinctive sound cuts off, my friend is still staring at me expectantly. I huff, sending a few strands of blonde off my forehead. “Can we drop it? Dating isn’t on my radar, Joe.”