Miss ~ Harloe Rae

  Copyright © 2018 by Harloe Rae, LLC

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior writen permission of the copyright owner and the publisher listed above, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or purely coincidental.

  Cover Design:

  Talia’s Book Covers

  Cover Photographer:

  Sara Eirew

  Cover Models:

  Alex Boivin & Carolyn Seguin

  Interior Design & Formatting:

  Type A Formatting

  This book is dedicated to Harloe’s Hotties.

  Each one of you makes a difference. Thanks for your part!

  Delilah Sage was my comfort within all the pain.

  A saving grace when I needed an escape.

  The only one who understood me.

  But our dreams were doomed from the start.

  And I left her clinging to false hope.

  Regret has plagued me for years.

  Each second of every day, I want to claim her as mine.

  But I won’t ruin her life.

  And she’s better off without me.

  When a job lands me in town, I plan to keep my distance.

  My scars are mine alone.

  Dredging up the past will only cause deeper damage.

  But Delilah has always been my weakness.

  And resisting her isn’t an option.

  This time around, we won’t miss.

  “Closure” by Rachel Wammack

  “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran

  “You Got ‘Em All” by Trent Harmon

  “No Stopping You” by Brett Eldredge

  “Mercy” by Brett Young

  “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran

  “All of You” by John Legend

  “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Haley Reinhart

  “Born to Love You” by LANCO

  “What About Us” by P!nk

  “Shoot Me Straight” by Brothers Osborne

  “I Will Wait” by Memford & Sons

  Click here to listen on Spotify!

  Contents

  MISS

  DEDICATION

  About MISS

  PLAYLIST

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  EPILOGUE

  SNEAK PEEK-LASS BY HARLOE RAE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Enjoy an Excerpt of GENT

  Also by Harloe Rae

  GONE

  Zeke

  I STORM OUT of my father’s house for the final time, ignoring the burn blazing up my side. I’m more than ready to get gone and wrench open the truck door. As I toss my duffle across the seat, soft steps sound behind me. I know it’s her without turning around. My heart beats wildly, even faster than when he was threatening my life a few moments ago.

  Will she understand? Here’s hoping.

  I turn slowly and my breath falters at the sight of her gorgeous face painted with worry. My beautiful girl looks scared and I’d do anything to wipe the concern away. But I can’t stay.

  My feet shuffle toward her and piercing pain radiates from my ribcage. I do my best not to wince. He got me good tonight, but never again.

  “Where are you going?” she whispers.

  “Away. At least for a while.”

  A quiet sob hiccups from her throat. “W-why? I don’t want you to leave.”

  I cup her jaw and tilt her face up. My eyes devour her porcelain perfect features. “The last thing I wanna do is be without you, Trip. But staying in that house, with him, is ruining me. I don’t wanna go but if I stay, there won’t be much of me left. He won’t stop until he’s destroyed me.”

  “Take me with you,” she pleads. “I can’t make it without you, Zee.”

  My shoulders sag under the pressure of her green stare. I hate disappointing her. “You gotta finish school, Trip. And you’re so strong. I’m holding you back, feeding off your goodness. You’ll do better without me, at least how I am now.”

  Her bright gaze is fierce and pins me in place. “You take that back. If I’m strong, it’s only because of you. Having you here with me is the greatest gift.”

  I stroke her velvet skin, letting her kindness sink into my soul. I let the memories of simpler times rush in, easing the agony slightly. Our younger selves were full of so much happiness.

  “Remember the day we met?” I ask into the darkness.

  She nuzzles deeper into my touch. “How could I forget? I still sleep in that ridiculous shirt.”

  “And you stumbled in the grass rushing over to me. My little Trip.” She laughs, and a hint of a smile tilts her lips. “That’s right. Think of the good.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” she murmurs.

  “Is it working?”

  Moisture coats her lashes as she blinks rapidly. “No”.

  “Should I try harder?”

  “Does that involve you sticking around?”

  I don’t respond. Words can’t express the war waging in my heart.

  Trip sighs. “Okay. I’ll be strong. For you.”

  “For you too. Don’t let them win. Keep your head up,” I demand. A loud bang shatters the calm around us. I glance at house before focusing on her. “He’ll be looking for me soon. I gotta go now.”

  My fingers twist a few locks of her blonde hair, committing the silky texture to memory. Her bottomless green eyes are shining with emotion, and nothing I say will stop her tears.

  “No. Please, stay,” she cries and clutches onto me tight. I suck in sharply when her fingers dig into the fresh bruises on my torso.

  “Trip, baby. I can’t. He’s gonna kill me if I don’t get to him first.” I brush away the tracks streaming down her cheeks. Her tears slam into me harder than his fists ever have. With regret pooling in my gut, I lay out the truth. “I can’t survive there another minute. But know if I could, I’d do it only because of you.”

  She stays silent because she knows it’s true. Living next door, she hears the constant fighting. When Trip clings to me harder, my teeth grind to force the ache away.

  “Where will you go?”

  “I have distant family spread all around. No one stays in contact with my dad, but they’ll take me in.”

  “Are you going far?” Her lip wobbles, and my thumb presses against it.

  I shrug, helplessness soaking into my bones. “I’m not sure. We’ll see when I get there.”

  “Will you call me? Tell me whe
re you are?”

  “Of course. You’re all I’ll think about. You know that, right? I’ve always loved you.”

  She sniffles and wraps tighter around me. “I love you so much, Zee. It hurts knowing you won’t be here tomorrow.”

  “But it’s only temporary. We’ll be together again soon.”

  “O-okay,” Delilah stammers.

  I clear the tightness from my throat and whisper, “Knock, knock.”

  Her head moves against mine. “I’m not in the mood, Zee.”

  I’m desperate to dry her tears. “Please humor me?”

  Her body quakes with a shuddering exhale. “Who’s there?”

  “Butch and Jimmy.”

  “Butch and Jimmy who?”

  I nuzzle into her neck. “Butch your arms around me and Jimmy a kiss.”

  Delilah laughs, but it’s forced. She snuggles closer and I grip her harder. Silence envelopes us, but my mind is screaming, and time has run out. I can’t leave her with nothing but a faded shirt and cheesy jokes. I fiddle with the chain looped around my neck. As always, my mother’s ring hangs from the center. I pull it off and place it over her head.

  Delilah gasps and clutches the silver links. “No. I can’t accept this. It’s all you have left of her.”

  She’s right, of course. That necklace is the only possession I’ve ever cared about. I tug on the metal strand and tell her, “It’s to keep you safe. Like it has for me all these years. I don’t need it now that I’m leaving. Wear this and know I’m always with you.”

  She’s crying openly, the tears pouring freely without pause. “I’ll never take it off.”

  “That’s right. Hold on to it for me.”

  Trip nods. “And I’ll wait here until you come back.”

  A knot pulls tight in my stomach at her words. Why does this seem like a gamble? I don’t want her betting on false hope, grasping at a future that might not come, but damn, a life without her isn’t one at all. So, I let us both believe.

  “I’ll come for you soon. Don’t worry, baby girl. I’m gonna get a job and save up every penny. I’ll get us a cute little place we can share. And when it’s ready and you’ve graduated, I’ll come for you.”

  “I believe in you. I know you’ll make this happen for us.”

  I’m counting on her having enough faith to keep our love burning bright.

  TIME

  Zeke

  THE ALARM BLARES from the speakers outside, signaling quitting time. I pack up my tools and join the others gathering around the water jug. After guzzling a few glasses, my throat stops burning and the strain from a full day’s work ebbs slightly.

  I glance around, taking in my dusty surroundings. Only a few other buildings occupy this corner of Hacken. The saggy roofs and peeling paint beg for attention, calling out to anyone within earshot. Apparently, no one is listening. A resonating pang echoes in my chest because I often feel the same way. Forgotten to rot, left out in the sun to fade away.

  Even at twenty-four, I feel old as fuck.

  A hand comes down on my shoulder, yanking me from the dreary daze. “Long fucking day, huh? I’m damn glad we’re almost done. Three months in this shithole is far too many,” Lewis says.

  I glance over a him and nod. He’s the closest thing I have to a friend, but it’s mostly out of convenience. “Yeah, this sleepy town isn’t much to look at.”

  “I have no idea what the draw is,” he replies with a yawn.

  “Apparently the owners of Excel Entertainment keep this place on the map. Devon told me they get a lot of traffic from big wig musicians and artists passing through. Not that we got to see anything with all the shows on hold. Makes it hard to picture a lively crowd,” I muse.

  He snorts. “We could have used a few backstage passes. I’m done being bored. They need more than one rundown bar to keep people happy.”

  I roll my eyes at him. Lewis has nothing to complain about. “Hopefully this pays off for them. Gutting this disaster was a pain in the ass. That concrete fortress definitely needed an overall.”

  “Still not sure why this company didn’t relocate elsewhere, whether or not Hacken went under without them. How can they be successful out here in the fucking sticks?” he asks.

  I wipe sweat off my forehead. “Sentimental value? Who knows. Caring about that shit isn’t part of our job. So long as the check clears, right?”

  Lewis laughs. “Just follow directions and stay on schedule.”

  “Exactly.”

  “That’s why you’re Devon’s favorite.” He drags a hand through his hair.

  I grunt. “Shut the fuck up.”

  “You’re meant for this life, Zee.”

  “Zeke,” I grit. Acid churns in my gut each time he calls me that. It’s the biggest fucking trigger and never fails to ignite the fire in my blood. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I correct him. Not sure how much clearer I have to be.

  He holds up his palms. “I always forget. Sorry, man. My cousin doesn’t mind the nickname.”

  “Do I look like your fucking cousin?” My voice lashes across the space between us. I should feel bad for snapping at him, but he needs to cut that name from his vocabulary.

  “Uh, no?”

  “Try to remember that.”

  “You ever gonna tell me why?”

  “No,” I spit. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

  Lewis winces. “Jesus, dude. Chill out.”

  I grind my molars. “I will if you stop calling me that.”

  “Right, I got it.”

  “Good.”

  “Bad day?”

  I glance at him from the corner of my eye. “Wasn’t too shabby until a second ago. Now it all went to shit.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I won’t make that mistake again. Gonna take it out on the bag later?”

  Lewis has seen my bruised hands and busted knuckles enough to know how I release excess toxins.

  “Probably,” I reply.

  “I always appreciate your one-word answers,” he chuckles.

  “We can’t all be chatty like you.”

  His feet shuffle in the gravel. “Wanna grab a drink tonight? Before whatever else you’ve got planned. I think a few guys are going to that dive down the street. Even if it’s lame as hell.” Lewis gestures aimlessly over his shoulder.

  “I’ll pass,” I say. But then add, “Thanks for the invite.”

  “You sure? Might be nice to—”

  The badgering from him makes me lose what little control I was grasping to. This is what I get for not being a total dick.

  “I said no,” I growl.

  Lewis doesn’t seem put off by my tone. “Pretty sure you need one. Or five,” he mumbles.

  “What was that?”

  His eyes widen. “Nothing.” Lewis takes a few steps back, as if sensing the tension boiling within me. I’m thankful for the much-needed distance between us, but don’t comment. He lingers for a few moments before saying, “Gotta meet with the boss. Catch you later.” Lewis offers a jerky wave before spinning on his heel.

  I blow out a forced breath and tip my chin to the darkening sky. Soon the stars will come out and dot the black with light. The sight always reminds me of . . . better days. Fuck, I’ve been traveling down that road more often lately. Probably has to do with the lack of sleep. But thinking of her won’t bring peace, not like it used to. I rub my tired eyes and head toward the pickup. I toss my box in the truck bed and sit on the bumper, waiting for instructions from Devon.

  As the foreman and owner of Big Rock Builders, he’s got a ton to manage daily. I do whatever possible to make his job easier and return the favors he’s always offering. Lord only knows where I’d be without his help. I’ll never take it for granted. So long as he needs me, this is where I’ll be.

  As if hearing my thoughts, Devon ambles over. He crosses his burly arms and rests against the tailgate. “You good?” He offers me a fresh bottle of water.

  I take it and unscrew the cap. “Yeah, sure.
Ready to move on,” I tell him honestly.

  “Getting sick of being shacked up in Bumfuck, Nowhere?”

  “You could say that,” I grunt. “But I’m thankful for the steady work.”

  “I know you are. No doubts there. And the next city should have a bit more action. Pretty sure we all need it,” he chuckles. A disbelieving noise escapes me and stops his humor. “Maybe not everyone,” Devon amends.

  I take in his wary expression, but look beyond that. He’s in his late-forties and still a lady-killer. I’m sure they love his hard-earned muscles and tattoos. “You can take ‘em,” I offer.

  He laughs again. “No play for you?”

  “Not really my style.”

  “Everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes. Even you need to relax and take a load off, Zeke.”

  I give a limp shrug, not wanting to discuss this shit again. I lift the bottle to my lips and swallow some cool relief, silently telling him to drop the subject.

  He elbows me. “Maybe your tune will change when we hit Garden Grove.”

  I choke on my sip of water and cough. “Excuse me?” I must be hearing things.

  “That’s our next site. Heard of it?” Devon asks, oblivious to the chaos erupting in my brain.

  “It’s almost three hours from here,” I sputter, ignoring his question.

  “And?”

  “That’s further than we normally travel. Hacken is already beyond our typical limits.”

  “I’ve gotta follow the money. If there’s work, I find it for us. They’ve got some bar that needs restoration. Willing to pay top dollar.”

  Shit. I never expected to be in this predicament. This has to be some sort of test to my strength and loyalty. Maybe my sanity, too. When I signed on with Devon’s crew, it was fairly safe to assume Garden Grove would never be on our list. Guess I was dead fucking wrong.

  “But there was a contract in Bulten lined up. Figured that’s next,” I say. Even I hear the plea in my pathetic voice. That town is across state in the opposite direction, far from my demons.

  Devon scoffs. “Bastards pulled out of the deal. Screw them. Nah, this new spot will be a great change of scenery for us. It’ll be nice to settle in for a bit and meet some local tail. This joint has been a real bummer,” he says and glances around the empty lot.